Really?

Do you ever get the feeling that if people knew who you really were, they would all be in shock? I regularly am surprised by people's assessments of me. The person they describe is far removed from the person that I am. Sometimes I feel that the person they perceive me to be is a much more interesting and reliable person than myself. This "other Jennifer" has skills I don't possess. I am not that organized. I am not that clever. I am not confident and self-assured. I am sorely lacking in all housewifely graces. I am not that good of a mom; I am simply blessed with good children. I am not a content person. I am usually wishing something about myself would be different. I do not really know the answers to the questions people think I should know. What am I? I am shy. I am pessimistic. I am easily frustrated. I lack patience in all forms. I know what I should be doing, but I am too lazy to do it. I am often treading water the best I can just to keep my head above the tide.

Does that surprise you? Does it make me less of a person in your eyes?

Lightbulb Moments

I love a good lightbulb moment. You do have those, right? Hopefully. The thought that anyone would not have had a really good lightbulb moment sometime in their life is very sad. Another great word for a lightbulb moment is (wait for it....) EPIPHANY! That is an amazing word. Say it several times. It rolls off the tongue like water off a duck's back. (Sorry, I have always wanted to say that.) Anyway, lightbulb moments, or epiphanies, are one of the greatest things about being human. How many chimpanzees have epiphanies?



How wonderful is it when you have been struggling to understand something, or just written it off as non-understandable, and suddenly BOING! You have had a LIGHTBULB MOMENT! I love the lightbulb moments of children. One of my favorites was when I was teaching my 6th graders. We had been working on writing/grammar/conventions. We were discussing the importance of capital letters. One of my (ahem) precious students looked up suddenly and said (with amazement in his voice), "Hey! Sentences always start with a capital letter! That's how you can tell it's a new sentence!" Gotta love it.

Procrastination

Procrastinate: v. meaning to put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness; to postpone or delay needlessly

I knew when I started this blog (like 2 months ago...) that it would be a challenge for me to keep up with it. Several people I know have blogs and they do marvelously well at updating. Maybe it is just that they have more interesting things to say than me. However, I like to think that it is simply because I have SO MUCH to say that I can't get it all organized and typed. Right.

I suppose it doesn't really matter, since no one reads this thing but me. Of course, how could anyone read it if I never post anything. Hmm, seems like a bit of the old "chicken or egg" argument. I would post if people were reading, but no one can read because I don't post, etc. How can I possibly purpose to get my plethora of perusable ponderable points out the people if I don't post? (I love alliteration, in case you didn't notice!)

Maybe it is the underlying realization that no one really cares what I think? Why would anyone spend the time reading my ponderable points, when there are other blogs (that make sense) out there? As stated before, I have several friends who regularly blog. They started with a purpose, and continue to blog regularly regarding that purpose. I started with no purpose (didn't I?), and I still don't have one (do I?)!

Perhaps the best way to get myself posting regularly, is to actually let people know I have this blog. I think only one person knows this blog exists. (Lightbulb moment: This may also explain why no one reads my blog!) However, there are only two real posts on this blog. Can I actually start a blog with only two real posts? Well, we'll find out, won't we?