Halted Obsessions

Do you have any obsession? Some people are "blessed" with a few more than others. I am one of those few. Someday I will write a blog outlining them all. In no way can I claim that I am severely oppressed by my obsessions, but occasionally they come to the surface with a vengeance.

Just recently, one of my daughters developed some kind of stomach bug. For the second time in my life as a parent my car was christened with the castoffs from my child's stomach. I had no idea/warning/foreshadowing that it was coming. None. Nor was I fully prepared to handle the onslaught. As I frantically drove home, she continued to flow forth with the fury of Mount Vesuvius upon the little town of Pompeii. Nothing in her path was safe. Once I had her home and quarantined, I set out on the unenviable task of cleaning up a carseat/car/toys/clothing/shoes/etc. Talk about a herculean task involving a good deal of bleach.

So, the purpose of that story is to tell you this one. I hate germs. I love bleach and Clorox wipes and Lysol. Try being a parent to two small children with this particular obsession. Generally, I am able to keep it under control. I am able to clean without going crazy. However, the intrusion into my world of something as vile as vomit makes the balance between obsession and normalcy teeter wildly. I basically lost it for an hour or two. I Lysol-ed every surface I could. I stripped down beds and replaced sheets (after Clorox-ing the beds of my two children). I washed stuffed animals that have tags that say specifically, "DO NOT WASH!" (By the way, they all survived.) I even took my husband's pajamas to be washed, completely disregarding the fact that he kind of needs them to sleep in. Sarahbug watched me with round and amazed eyes from a safe vantage point on the couch, (which had already been Lysol-ed) as I rushed around the house trying to wage a one-woman war on the germs invading my household. My house had the delightfully antiseptic smell of the cleaning aisle at Wal-Mart.

In fact, I might still be doing just that if not for an unfortunately timed occurrence that forced me to a standstill. No, I didn't throw up. Instead, I got a migraine. I hate migraines almost as much as I hate germs. Migraines cause me to do a variety of things: lose my sight, get dizzy, lose my ability to read (seriously), and, yes, occasionally they cause me to vomit. So, I did the only thing I could do. I called my mommy to pick up BigE at preschool and keep her away from me, put Sarahbug down for a nap, and curled up on the couch with a pillow on my head and Excedrin in my tummy. Ahhhh.....that's the life.

Buckets

Since I said I would, here it is.

Buckets are mundane everyday objects that are actually quite interesting if you are willing to put some thought into them. Buckets come in a variety of sizes, of course. They come in a variety of materials and colors. The value of a bucket is directly related to the contents of said bucket. For example, I found online a 5-gallon bucket that costs $403. Of course, it is not the bucket itself, but the ATP Re-seal that is included with the purchase of the bucket. Actually, I guess you are really buying the contents and simply getting a bucket as part of the bargain. Which is nice, since buckets can be reused. It is kind of like the free gifts at make-up counters. Spend $35.oo and get a bunch of free samples for, well, free. Spend $403 on some resealing stuff and get a FREE 5-gallon bucket! If you happen to be a person who doesn't want the free gift, you can buy a 5-gallon bucket for under $10 at Wal-Mart.

Another interesting thing about buckets is the number of phrases including the word "bucket". We have all heard "kick the bucket," but what about these others-

• dinner bucket
• drop in the bucket
• bucket along
• bucket seats
• brain bucket
• bucket list
• crud bucket
• bucket baby
• bucket brigade
• bucket biologist
• bucket-load

I am sure there are other "bucket phrases," but those are the ones I found.

In addition, there are apparently lots of buckets that belong to important people, or at least well-known in their hometowns people.

• Bimbles Bucket was an animated cartoon that involved a young male animal (called Foxbits by some fans, as the main character and the other residents of Stiltsville were fox/rabbit hybrids with rabbit ears and fox brushes for tails) named Bimble having a bucket which could grant him wishes.
• Newton's Bucket was an argument by Newton designed to demonstrate that true rotational motion cannot be defined as the relative rotation of the body with respect to the immediately surrounding bodies.
• Bobrinski Bucket is a 12th century bronze bucket originally manufactured for a merchant in 1163. It provides one of the earliest examples of Persian anthropomorphic calligraphy (?). It is named after a former owner, Count Bobrinski and is now in the Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg.

Who knew a bucket could be so important?

While on the topic of buckets, what is the difference between a bucket and a pail? Apparently there are a couple.

• the spelling
• Jill didn't fetch a bucket
• the word pail predates the word bucket by 300-1,000 years (depending on the source)
• pails are usually metal
• buckets often have a narrower base and wider top, while pails tend to be pretty cylindrical

In closing, don't overlook mundane everyday items. Who knows what interesting facts you can find about them?

I leave you with this:

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who kept all his cash in a bucket.

But his daughter, named Nan,

Ran away with a man

And as for the bucket, Nan took it.

But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,

The man and the girl with the bucket;

And he said to the man,

He was welcome to Nan,

But as for the bucket, Pa took it.

Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset

Where he still held the cash as an asset,

But Nan and the man

Stole the money and ran,

And as for the bucket, Man has it.

Of this story we hear from Nantucket,

About the mysterious loss of a bucket,

We are sorry for Nan,

As well as the man—

The cash and the bucket, Pa took it.

Limericks

My favorite form of poetry is the limerick. They are short and sweet and to the point. Plus, they rhyme. You can string several together to create a longer poem or story, or leave them alone. Unfortunately, limericks have the propensity for being vulgar. I don't know why. I found this limerick that describes limericks one time. I memorized it, but I have no idea who wrote it.

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

In space that is quite economical,

But the good ones I've seen

So seldom are clean,

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

Limericks were made popular by Edward Lear in the 19th century, although he did not use the term. One of his most famous limericks is:

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said 'It is just as I feared! -
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'

I didn't even know what limericks were when I was young, but I loved them. One of the first that I memorized was actually in Matilda by Roald Dahl:

An epicure dining at Crew
Found a rather large mouse in his stew
Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
And wave it about!
Or the others will be wanting one, too!"

I even had the opportunity to write one in middle school for a poetry project. Now, a little background is in order for this limerick to have the semblance of humor. I was supposed to be writing (in addition to the limerick and couplets and diamantes and etc.) an acrostic poem using the letters of my first and last name. Each letter was supposed to begin a line. My name was not easy to do this with, and I was frustrated, so I wrote a limerick about it. My teacher's name really was Bob by the way.

There once was a teacher named Bob,
Who made a student write poems til she sobbed.
He made her write acrostics
Until she went ballistics
Now he is out of his job.

The once was a man in Nantucket
To reach a shelf he stood on a bucket
Sadly for him,
His foot missed the rim
So his foot in the bucket got stuck'it.

So, since I love limericks, I thought I would share a few of my memorized favorites, just in case you have nothing better to do. (I know I don't. I'm in a stupid class right now. That will probably be in a blog later.)

There once was a fellow named Paul
Who fell in a spring in the fall
It would have been a bad thing,
If he had died in the spring,
But instead, he died in the fall.

There once was a fellow named Saul
Who wrestled 9 grizzlies one fall
9 was such a good score
He tried for one more
But he lost, well you can't win 'em all!

An elderly man named Scott Keith,
Lost his set of false teeth
He put them down on a chair
And forgot they were there
He sat down and was bitten beneath

Really?

Do you ever get the feeling that if people knew who you really were, they would all be in shock? I regularly am surprised by people's assessments of me. The person they describe is far removed from the person that I am. Sometimes I feel that the person they perceive me to be is a much more interesting and reliable person than myself. This "other Jennifer" has skills I don't possess. I am not that organized. I am not that clever. I am not confident and self-assured. I am sorely lacking in all housewifely graces. I am not that good of a mom; I am simply blessed with good children. I am not a content person. I am usually wishing something about myself would be different. I do not really know the answers to the questions people think I should know. What am I? I am shy. I am pessimistic. I am easily frustrated. I lack patience in all forms. I know what I should be doing, but I am too lazy to do it. I am often treading water the best I can just to keep my head above the tide.

Does that surprise you? Does it make me less of a person in your eyes?

Lightbulb Moments

I love a good lightbulb moment. You do have those, right? Hopefully. The thought that anyone would not have had a really good lightbulb moment sometime in their life is very sad. Another great word for a lightbulb moment is (wait for it....) EPIPHANY! That is an amazing word. Say it several times. It rolls off the tongue like water off a duck's back. (Sorry, I have always wanted to say that.) Anyway, lightbulb moments, or epiphanies, are one of the greatest things about being human. How many chimpanzees have epiphanies?



How wonderful is it when you have been struggling to understand something, or just written it off as non-understandable, and suddenly BOING! You have had a LIGHTBULB MOMENT! I love the lightbulb moments of children. One of my favorites was when I was teaching my 6th graders. We had been working on writing/grammar/conventions. We were discussing the importance of capital letters. One of my (ahem) precious students looked up suddenly and said (with amazement in his voice), "Hey! Sentences always start with a capital letter! That's how you can tell it's a new sentence!" Gotta love it.

Procrastination

Procrastinate: v. meaning to put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness; to postpone or delay needlessly

I knew when I started this blog (like 2 months ago...) that it would be a challenge for me to keep up with it. Several people I know have blogs and they do marvelously well at updating. Maybe it is just that they have more interesting things to say than me. However, I like to think that it is simply because I have SO MUCH to say that I can't get it all organized and typed. Right.

I suppose it doesn't really matter, since no one reads this thing but me. Of course, how could anyone read it if I never post anything. Hmm, seems like a bit of the old "chicken or egg" argument. I would post if people were reading, but no one can read because I don't post, etc. How can I possibly purpose to get my plethora of perusable ponderable points out the people if I don't post? (I love alliteration, in case you didn't notice!)

Maybe it is the underlying realization that no one really cares what I think? Why would anyone spend the time reading my ponderable points, when there are other blogs (that make sense) out there? As stated before, I have several friends who regularly blog. They started with a purpose, and continue to blog regularly regarding that purpose. I started with no purpose (didn't I?), and I still don't have one (do I?)!

Perhaps the best way to get myself posting regularly, is to actually let people know I have this blog. I think only one person knows this blog exists. (Lightbulb moment: This may also explain why no one reads my blog!) However, there are only two real posts on this blog. Can I actually start a blog with only two real posts? Well, we'll find out, won't we?

Resentment

Resentment is a funny thing. It can be kept under wraps for a long time, but it is always there, ready to bubble to the surface. It can be hidden so well, that we even forget it is there. At least until it is unleashed. Perhaps the worst thing to me about resentment, is the resentment I feel over feeling resentment. Confused much? I absolutely hate feeling resentful toward anyone or anything. I can feel it in my belly like a basketball of bitterness. I can dwell on it like nothing else. Unfortunately, resentment appears to be a constant companion for me. I feel it in many areas, many of them not tied to people at all, although it often is.

Why is it always there? I recognize it. I hate it. Still, there it is. I ignore it. I try to convince myself that I don't really feel it. Still, it is there. I feel resentment toward people for slights, imagined or otherwise. I feel resentment over my personal appearance and apparent lack of talents and skills. I feel resentment regarding my family's financial situation. I resent how some easily manage to have so much, while others struggle to have even a little (not necessarily referring to me). I even feel resentment toward my faith for making me see things about myself that are not good or constructive.

The only good thing about the resentment I feel is that I recognize it for what it is. I do not blame anyone else for the issues; I know they are mine. Perhaps that is why I feel it so much. I know that in many, not all, of the situations, I am entirely to blame. I could do something about it, but I don't. For that reason, I keep my resentment buried as deep as possible. I hate the thought that it will affect someone else. I do my best to not dwell, and, therefore, not act on my resentment. I pray that it will lessen as I mature.

Someday I hope to post here that the basketball of bitterness has bounced.

In the Beginning

In the beginning was a blog. The blog was irrelevant to important matters of daily life. In fact, it was irrelevant to any matters, important or not. The blog was simply a smattering of random ideas, haphazard thoughts, and a myriad of musings. The author of the blog believed this to be appropriate since that was the way her mind was organized.

This blog will be similar to the revolving tie rack I bought my father for Christmas one year. (Hey, at least I didn't give him a tie.) It had approximated 24 little hangers for ties. Only four of the ties were at the front at any given time. The tie rack had a little button that, when pushed, would rotate the little hangers around and present a new set of ties for the viewing pleasure of the button pusher. However, as time went on, the same four ties found themselves constantly at the front of the rack. They would be worn regularly for long periods of time. Just when the other ties began to believe they would never see the light, the owner would suddenly remember their existence. The four favorites were pushed to the back, and a new set of favorites appeared. I believe this blog will be arranged in a similar way. I have a tendency to get hold of an idea (or four) and keep them at the front for long periods of time. Eventually I tire of them, and bring a new set to the forefront.

I don't intend to tell anyone about this blog until I determine whether I will actually keep it up. I have a tendency to begin, but never end, a project. Perhaps I will never tell anyone. I am not about to assume that this blog would be interesting to anyone. However, if you choose to read it, be prepared for utter randomness. There is no game plan, but then, what would be the fun in that?